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Mothers are sluts. Not always, but sometimes….

You know them, those mothers who are convinced that their offspring are the best of the best. "To walk? Pooh he did that when he was 6 months old! Food? Ownee he eats everything! His favorite dish is Mama's Brussels sprout stew." Yes….fool the cat…..as soon as they talk about their children, many mothers turn into sluts.

Watch out, sluts coming

This week I went to the Ballenbak with a friend (Zara) from primary school whom I had not seen for years. Our little ones don't care much (mine is 22 months and hers 19 months) so that's very nice of course. Only I had forgotten how she   is put together again.

And then it happened…

“Is your daughter talking a little?” she asked me after 5 minutes. “Uh yes. Kind of. It is mainly our own language that comes along, but words are already in it." She looks at me doubtfully and looks at her youngster:“Oh yes…well don't worry, it will probably come. Felice is already speaking full sentences and can sing along so well. I think she is very smart!”

Yes and then the neck hairs are already standing up on me † It's fine to praise your own child, but don't bring mine down. “Wasn't it true that Felice didn't start walking until 17 months?” (I know very mean). My girlfriend looks at me insulted:“Well, it's not that late, is it? And besides, she could already say a lot back then. She just didn't want to walk, but just wanted to be carried by mom. If I had pushed her like some parents do (emphasis on me) she would have walked a lot sooner. At least I give her all the time." As two mother sluts we 'defend' our offspring.

Mumbling that it would and crooked toes I go after my little one to play. At least he can't spout such nonsense, I don't think. Of course she came right after me with her Felice under her arm. “Let's take some nice pictures of the little ones!” she says happily and puts her baby on an edge. I put mine next to it, but soon realize that madam wants to play and is not served by sitting still and laughing sweetly. “Oh well, some kids just do their own thing. Luckily Felice never does that!” (Okay Kim, don't say anything, don't say anything) “Wow? Well that's possible”, I mumble and help Luana up a flight of stairs. “Come on Felice, show Luana how to climb a flight of stairs. Felice can do it herself.

By the way, is Luana potty trained yet? Oh no? Felice will never have wet pants again. Is not it great?" (Okay the fence is off the dam ) "Tell me Zara, shouldn't you already enroll Felice in school?" (I knew she hadn't already done this). "Oh no? That is not necessary until Felice is 3 years old.” I look at her with wide eyes:No Zara! You should have done that a long time ago! Luana has been registered for a long time. Everything is almost full already!”. She looks at me open-mouthed:“What?! Oh no? I…I thought it wasn't necessary yet”, she stammers. "Yes it is. You are already running out of choices and you want your smart Felice to go to the best school, don't you? I was supposed to make an appointment this afternoon. Who knows where else she will end up.”

I know, that was very mean † But hey, we had a very nice playdate after that haha. Luana was clambering, running, falling and babbling in her own language and Felice happily joined in. And Felice's mom? Let me say that I enjoyed the silence 😉 , but the fact remains that it is a pity that many mothers in sluts change when they have children, it seems like a never-ending competition.

Do you recognize any of this?