Pauline Jonker, an experienced educator, motivates students to love school and learn more effectively using SLiM learning (Faster, Nicer, Easier). She provides parents with practical advice on supporting children's development, including strategies for homework.
Homework becomes a reality for most children starting in group 7 (sometimes earlier), challenging both kids and parents. Should you set firm agreements or step back? It's a common source of family tension. Children need key skills like planning, perseverance, studying, organization, responsibility, and discipline—many of which they're still developing through trial and error. As a parent, should you intervene, and how can you help them learn effectively so the material sticks?
Read also: learn to plan homework, we must help
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This skills gap places demands on parents too: How much help is right? What kind? How do you motivate an unenthusiastic child? You've likely heard advice to just let go.
I often hear: Should I make homework agreements or let go? There's no one-size-fits-all answer—it depends on your child, family dynamics, and situation.
You can't fully let go of group 7 kids new to homework; it's like removing armbands from a non-swimmer.
In high school, stepping back can help—especially if arguments dominate or your teen resists input (normal for that age 😉). Sometimes, natural consequences provide a vital wake-up call.
Does making agreements about homework help? Yes, absolutely!
But they must be collaborative agreements, not parental rules. Heated discussions often block productive talks, which is a shame—kids often have great ideas that work best when they own them.
Read also: 5 tips to keep homework fun
In a calm chat, ask your child:
Teens struggle to anticipate outcomes; clarifying them builds huge insight. Example:
Schedule a relaxed weekly talk about homework. Ask questions with genuine curiosity, holding back your opinions (tough, right? 😉).
Form one agreement from the discussion—child-led (as above). Set a follow-up to review. Meanwhile, highlight positives you observe. Emphasize that mastering skills involves trial and error—share your own stories!
If arguments have made talks impossible, seek external support. This allows controlled independence without letting homework poison your home atmosphere.
In my next blog, I'll cover rewards and punishments: What truly motivates homework?
Image used via Shutterstock
