"Mom, I'm heading to town tomorrow. Can I have my clothing allowance?" My daughter's request caught me off guard. She's 13, gets pocket money, but now wants a dedicated clothing budget like her best friend—who's managed hers responsibly for months. They plan to shop independently, no moms, no fuss. But how much should I give?
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As a parent of a 13-year-old, I've encouraged her growing independence—she's shown good judgment most of the time. But a clothing allowance? Our current setup works: we buy what she needs, and she chooses. Still, she's persistent about having her own budget.
"Sweetie, we get you clothes when needed, and you pick them out, right?" I tried delaying. "Mom, I want to buy what I like without asking permission," she countered.
She's outgrowing needing my approval. "What about our fun shopping afternoons with lunch on me?" Those mother-daughter outings are special. "We can still do that, Mom—you pay lunch, I pay clothes with my allowance," she grinned, dead serious. I needed time to think.
Shopping day arrived—without allowance yet, but with a challenge: prove she deserves it, and I'd reimburse. Off she went with her friend to the city.
Surprisingly, she valued my input, sending photos and prices via text. "Pretty, but pricey for a sweater," I replied. "Good quality though," she shot back—like hearing my own voice! Next came terrace selfies with sodas (smart choice over my wine pairings).
She returned pre-dinner with four bags and pure joy. That thrill of independent purchases? I get it completely.
Proudly, she showed: a quality sweater (worth the splurge), shorts, sunglasses, t-shirt, sale blouse, and crop top. I nearly commented on the short hem—reminiscent of my youth—but caught myself. "Love it, honey—perfect for summer break. Save longer tops for school." She beamed.
"Do you really like them, Mom?" "Yes, beautiful. But remember, not everything fits in one trip. Save for coats, shoes, or repairs—they add up." Her coat's good for now, she noted wisely.
After discussing with my husband, we agreed. She's ready. We referenced Nibud, the trusted Dutch money management experts, who recommend clothing allowances from age 12-13 to teach budgeting. Average for this age: €50 monthly.
Beyond amount, we clarified coverage: underwear and sportswear stay on us.
She's capable—I'm confident. I'll resist topping up; she must learn money's value. Gifts like Christmas clothes (longer styles for modesty) are fine, though.
Does your child get clothing allowance? How much?
