Saturday night, 4 a.m., after one too many gin and tonics. Your phone is in hand, fueled by Saturday Night Fever, loneliness, and sexual desire. Ignoring your friend's warning, you hit “send” on the booty call to your ex. No reply expected—odds seem slim. But as you head home, it vibrates in your pocket. Your ex wants to see you too. No turning back; you head over, tipsy and relieved.
Morning after, regret hits. You vent to your best friends, who swear sleeping with an ex is a mistake. But is it? The myth that sex with your ex is taboo—risking backsliding, proving you haven't turned the page, or chasing an untouchable fantasy—may not hold. What if it's beneficial for future relationships, sexuality, and feelings?
An American study led by Stephanie Spielmann at Wayne State University investigated post-breakup sexual relations and their impact on healing. Their findings challenge conventional wisdom.
It can be beneficial. Researchers surveyed 500 volunteers over months about their feelings. Most participants moved on easily, and those who had sex with an ex found it even easier—short- or long-term.
Beyond emotional recovery, it enhances your sex life. Familiarity helps you let go, boosting confidence in future sexual relations. It often provides closure, ending any irresistible urge once and for all.
No universal rule exists. Assess your detachment. If it's purely an exchange of good practices without rekindling emotions—even against friends' advice—and you have the emotional bandwidth, proceed. You're the only one who knows. At a vulnerable T moment, ensure you're ready for post-breakup coitus.
P.S.: Choose an ex who excelled in bed (the risk is worth it).
