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polyamory; when a partner has two lovers

Forced marriage and polygamy are punishable in the Netherlands. Yet there are about 1500 women here who live in such a situation. However, polyamory is allowed in the Netherlands, but what exactly is that? In EenVandaag of the AVROTROS, attention was paid to an Islamic woman who is imprisoned in her marriage. An imam has to approve a divorce, but she doesn't get it. An intense story.

This woman has been mentally and physically abused by her husband. She also found out that he is married to a second wife. However, because she is married in Islam, an imam has to approve the dissolution of this marriage, which she does not get. She then filed a report with the police. Who in turn does not want to take this into consideration because an Islamic marriage is not recognized in us for a long time. You must first be married by law, then you can switch to a religious marriage. Islam does give the right to marry several women.

In this way, hundreds of women are trapped in a polygamous marriage, from which they cannot break free. I was never aware that this kind of marriage also took place in the Netherlands.

Table of contents

What exactly is a polygamous marriage?

You speak of polygamy when someone is married to several partners at the same time. Over the centuries there has been much criticism of polygamy. It is therefore forbidden in most cultures. Today this only occurs in a few cultures and countries. Such as Islam, Morocco, Egypt, Pakistan and India.

Dutch law states the following:A person can only be bound by marriage with one other person at a time.

The Criminal Code makes it a crime for a married person to marry someone else. Marrying a partner, knowing that he or she is already married, is also punishable. In both cases, the maximum prison sentence is 4 years and 6 years if the marital status has been withheld from the second partner.

Marital captivity, what is it?

Marital captivity means that women are forced against their will to remain married in a religious marriage. These women are called captive women. This often involves coercion and abuse of power.

Marital imprisonment is a violation of fundamental human rights and the Netherlands is the first country to define this imprisonment as a criminal offence.

Polyamory, what is it?

Dutch is again open to another form of plural love, namely; Polyamory.

On the internet I find a website that helps you to find several like-minded people. I find the following:monogamy does not exist and is just a choice that modern society has accepted as 'normal'. You find a partner and stay true to it. However, this goes against your nature. Because why keep it with one partner for the rest of your life, when you might feel love for several people at the same time?

Polyamory, what are the 'possibilities'

In such a relationship cheating does not occur. Both partners know that the partner can develop feelings of love or lust for another and offer each other space to discover and experience them. This is polyamory. It's about honesty in such a relationship and choosing your own happiness and that of someone else, where you do not consider each other as property. Actually for the group of swingers among us 😉 .

A partner has multiple relationships

Polyamory can occur in several ways. It may be the case that there is a main relationship between partners, with one of the partners having additional relationships. Of course with the knowledge of – and approval of – the other partner.

The main relationship is a love triangle

It may also be the case that the main relationship consists of a love triangle. In this case, all three partners have a relationship with each other.

With or without sex

Polyamory does not necessarily have to be about sex, but can also be a form of relationship where it is only about intimacy. Or where one of the partners has bisexual feelings and shares them with both other partners.

As you can see, Polyamory has different faces with the emphasis on mutual trust, well-being and sharing love.

Femmes for Freedom

Coming back to polygamy, victims often don't dare to openly admit it. Still, there are plenty of stories from women showing that polygamy does occur. They are stories of women who indicate that they feel trapped in polygamous marriage and do not know what to do about it.

Femmes for Freedom consider polygamy to be a form of marital captivity. It often involves an entanglement of legal marriage and religious marriage. They therefore do everything they can to help and come up with various solutions.

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