Family Encyclopedia >> Family

What if your child is not invited to the children's parties in the classroom?

Imagine:one child after another throws a children's party, but your child does not receive an invitation to any children's party. Terrible, my mother's heart would cry! Orthopedagogue Laura Batstra argues for the following:Give a class party instead of a children's party!

Table of Contents

Lucky, she's invited!

Yes, Laura's first invitation to a children's party has arrived! She cheerfully shows the invitation from one of her friends. Not only Laura is very happy, but I have to admit that I am happy myself. It is one less worry to make sure that my daughter is not left out at children's parties in her class. Because this happens in every class. Children who never get an invitation to a children's party. Isn't it every mother's fear?

At some schools they have already made a conscious decision not to have the invitations handed out in the classroom. In this way, other children are not directly confronted with the fact that they have not been invited. But of course we will talk about it afterwards in class.

It is a form of exclusion that is just horrible for your child and brings a lot of grief with it. Surely every child has the right to belong and to receive an invitation to a children's party every now and then? To prevent this form of exclusion among children, remedial educationalist from the University of Groningen Laura Batstra advises parents and schools to organize a class party a few times a year.

Why a class party?

A class party is a party where your child invites the whole class. No child is excluded. This can be in collaboration with the school, or jointly with a number of parents. If several parents do this together, it costs less money. According to Batstra, children who never receive an invitation to a children's party can be very burdened by this.

This form of exclusion is very painful for a child and causes a lot of grief. Batstra wanted to do something with this and applied for a subsidy from the Children's Stamps Foundation. She received an amount of 15,000 euros to start a project. Now she will use that amount to conduct a trial with this form of class parties at two different schools in Groningen. Parents who like to organize such a class party for their children can receive a subsidy for this.

Manual with useful tips

During the trial, teachers involved are interviewed as to whether this affects the 'misfits' in the classroom. It is also investigated whether this has consequences for the mutual atmosphere and relationships in a class. In addition, Batstra will write a manual for parents and schools who would like to organize such a class party themselves. 

Would you do it?

Perhaps you recognize it from your own child's class? Children who, for whatever reason, are left out. They are actually always there. Maybe they have a physical disability, they are socially awkward or they come from a poor family.

Fortunately, Laura has already received her first invitation to a children's party and this does not play for her. Still, I'm quite fond of organizing such a class party if I know that I'm doing her and all the children in her class a great favor, including the misfits. And if I could organize it together with other other parents, that would also be great for the social contacts between parents! I do think that it should suit your child and that it is not suitable for every child. But I'm definitely open to it. And you, would you like to organize such a class party?

Image used via Shutterstock