I was (almost) sure, I'm really not a curling parent. In my specific case, this is more a consequence of my own laziness than that it is a pedagogically responsible choice. However, I am now somewhat doubtful about my level of parenting. As for my hubby, I don't even dare to put my hand in the fire. After doing some extra research into this term, I have to come to the conclusion that I too still have some 'traits' that belong to the concept of curling parent.
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In the last episode of the Luizenmoeder, the term flew by because teacher Ank went against a hysterical mother. Immediately I opened my evernote, because I had never heard of it, the curling parent. So make a note to find out. Curious as I am, I have to check what this term exactly means and how it came about. I can now tell you more about that.
The Danish psychologist Bent Hougaard coined the term curling parent. According to the theory, a curling parent is an overprotective parent who tries to sweep away all obstacles in front of his or her children's feet.
Similar to the - somewhat unknown sport - curling, in which the track is kept free with brooms for the puck, which can then slide more easily over the ice. Maybe you know it from TV, that crazy 'swipe' on the ice. So that. I'm a sweeper. Just a little bit, but still. And you? Are you also a curling parent or is it not that bad?
The curling of the ice rink is up to that point, but curling your children (nice verb by the way) is bad for their development. While you do everything for your child out of love and want to protect, help and save your child from everything, you do the opposite. You are not helping your child. In fact, you are working against your child. A full development of your child is lost because mom or dad has to interfere with everything if necessary.
Examples of curling parents and their upbringing:
#Oops, I have to confess to 3 of the 6 examples above that I am a curling parent. Damn. And I still thought I was doing it all so well, raising that.
Good. I just have to accept it. So I'm a curling parent. Because the above 3 examples do not stop there. I also interfered with my child's schooling. I wrote a personal letter to Luc a few years ago because I was so worried about him and his school. Not because the VMBO image is not good enough, but because I saw what the school did not see.
And Lotte? She recently discovered during dinner that her boyfriend had broken up with him by text message. I didn't know how quickly I had to go to the store to get (a lot of) chocolate and then watch a series with tea on the couch. So wrong? I should have just let them cook in her juice. Or am I not a curling parent if I just give a little extra sweet sometimes?
Because on the other hand, I let Luc do his own thing at school. Despite the fact that the 2nd trimester is dominated by insufficient marks, I will not interfere too much with it. And I'm certainly not going to solve it for him, he'll have to work for it himself.
Research has also been done on this. To start with, parents today are a lot more assertive than they used to be. We used to take everything for sweet cake and do something just 'because it was supposed to be'. Nowadays we think for ourselves first and form an opinion.
In addition, we are overwhelmed by the beautiful pictures and chats on social media. Everything should be fun. Also educate. We must be nice parents. There are even parents who like to be their child's best friend. That does encourage overprotection.
manufacturability. Another reason why you just become a curling parent. We parents feel responsible for the happiness of our children. We want them to achieve 'something' and that's why we pamper them too much.
But no more. As soon as my child is crying on the sidewalk because of a fight at school, I shrug and pour myself a glass of wine. Does son come home with the message that he remains seated? Then the flag goes out, because that announcement means it's almost vacation and I'm ready for that!
And if it's raining again, I chuckle. That will make him big, of that downpour on his resins 😉 . Next time, his self-reliance will take over and he realizes that he must bring an umbrella to stay dry.
Oh no! That's too dangerous on the bike. What if he falls?
Maybe we should all just let it go. You and me. We should just do what we think is right. Instead of someone else thinking about it. Good luck with your education, and make it fun every now and then!
