We women are indeed born with the guilt syndrome. That's just the way it is. We have to make do with it. At least, that's how it almost seems. Yvonne also recognizes the guilt that we women struggle with all too well 😉 . And that goes about…
“Mommy?” “Yes, honey.”
It's hard for me to answer patiently. I have already kindly asked six times if he could copy Fireman Sam for a while.
“Why do you have to work?” “Well, because I have to earn money,” I reply demonstratively. 'Oh. But…' There's a moment of silence. He works hard in his upstairs room. "Daddy, isn't he earning money for all of us?"
Reluctantly, I free myself from my laptop and lean back. He has a strong point there. ‘Dad already works a lot, do you have to work too? Daddy always says he takes care of all of us.” To save time, I gently clasp my hands together and place them under my chin for support. I have to think about how to formulate my answer as tactically as possible.
“That in itself is true, but Mom also really likes working.” So, I've spoken. Now he makes a dirty face. “But you can go see Fireman Sam with me, too?” “Honey, I really like that too. But mom likes working and watching movies both nice. Look, you also really like the book by 'Joep and Koos'?' 'Yes,' he answers loudly.
“So you're okay with me working—occasionally?” “Yeah!” he replies even louder and more direct. "Great of you," I exclaim enthusiastically and raise my thumb. He walks back to the couch in a few steps. He continues with Fireman Sam. He don't think about anything anymore. But I can hear my inner critic again:'You can just stop writing to watch Fireman Sam with your son?'
And without holidays, without days off and without sick leave. A mother has a lot of responsibilities on her plate. Working mothers work overtime every day. You should always be one step ahead of everything. You cannot escape tomorrow's responsibility by avoiding it today. Mothers should be all-rounders. You can't afford to be counted out in the evening because it all happens at night. In the bedroom, but not in yours.
And if women are not born with this guilt, they will receive it as a gift after the birth of their first child.
Suddenly you are never alone anymore, but you are (almost) always in the company of that little new earthling and you have gained an extra voice. A critical voice, that is. That guilt that many women recognize. A voice you hear almost all day long:
I am too strict, not strict enough, too demanding, too easy.
There we have her again. For once I don't listen to my guilt and I watch Little Man diligently watch the same movie for the thousandth time. For a moment I see us from a distance and realize that he is lucky to have a mother who can work from home and who has also written his favorite book 😉 .
Oh well, I'll probably come to his house later in a picture frame on the wall!
