Two types of puberty at home, toddler puberty and prepuberty! I have both a pre-teen and a pre-teen. Pre-puberty and pre-puberty at the same time in one house. Well, I can tell you that sometimes things get tough here and that can be very tiring.
My toddler discovers his own will and finds out that he can also do things himself, but also that he can say no. In fact, it almost looks like he's already in his prepubescence. First he yells NO and then wants to do it himself. Put on shoes, zip up coat, brush teeth, eat with fork/spoon. And then suddenly he doesn't want to go anymore. He doesn't even know where we're going, apparently it's about principle. It takes forever!
Then prepuberty. My pre-adolescent also wants to do everything himself and especially say NO. Doing it yourself isn't that bad, but saying NO is so incredibly frustrating. He also discovers his limits and sees how far he can go. He wants to organize his day and decide what he is going to do and therefore no longer wants his day to be planned for him. When we go somewhere, he already says NO in advance. Wait, fair is fair, he first asks if a friend can come along and if that is not allowed, then he says resolutely NO accompanied by a few rolling eyes and/or a deep sigh. There can also be some angry cheeky mumbling that I don't even want to know what he's saying anymore. Where you can carry it under your arm with your toddler, that is of course no longer the case with pre-puberty. Then try to get him! Of course, if he goes along with "joyful reluctance," he doesn't intend to have a good time. We try not to let the atmosphere be ruined by making it fun ourselves, but that is sometimes difficult.
So lately it happens that I wait an eternity for a jacket to zip up or have to carry a child under my arm and the other person remains demonstratively in his room until the last moment before he gets grumpy in the car and takes the place of arrival a few meters behind us shuffles to further express his displeasure. On balance, nobody wants to go with me (never a nice feeling), I have two grumpy children and I am already done with it myself. Then no family time I think! “You get so much in return” they say, well when it comes to the screaming and struggling that I get so much in return, then leave the pre-puberty and pre-puberty alone.
But then they make it all right again. My toddler looks proud when he has managed to put his shoes on himself and hugs me triumphantly. He hops by my side with his little hand in mine and just wants to be with his mama, whatever we're doing or wherever we're going. My pre-adolescent struggle is slowly diminishing. After our outing he comes up to me with his long body and puts an arm around me. He indicates that it was not as bad as he thought and maybe a little bit of fun. He then gives me a big kiss on my cheek, a hug and thanks me for the nice day. So it has all been worth it. So I can still look back on our day with satisfaction and know that everything will be fine. I'll keep this in mind for next time. You see, you really get sooo much in return!!!
