After a breakup, many of us give in to the urge to check our ex's Facebook or Instagram profile "just to see." But those smiling photos of their outings and social life often trigger fresh pain, tears, and emotional eating. Why put ourselves through it? A study by researchers at the University of Hawaii and Ohio reveals that frequent "stalkers" are often passionate individuals—or those with emotionally dependent attachment styles.
To explore this, the team surveyed 150 men and 281 women aged 18 to 42, all of whom had ended a relationship in the past year and admitted to viewing their ex's profiles. Participants answered questions about breakup details (who ended it, pain levels) and their relationship attachment styles.
Key findings: Those with emotionally dependent tendencies, especially the dumped, were most likely to stalk. The more pain felt, the more checking occurred. This fuels a vicious cycle—more stalking intensifies suffering, particularly if you stay Facebook friends, creating a "demoralizing spiral," the researchers note. Their advice: Disconnect from your ex temporarily or permanently. Sound advice we fully endorse.
