The perspective from a newspaper journalist: Ray Satou, a trusted writer at BIBA
Typically, our partner's girlfriends become our friends too. However, it's wise to approach them with caution—for good reasons. 1/ A girlfriend might be strikingly attractive (think Beyoncé in everyday life), sparking instant temptation. 2/ Behind their sweet appearances, some can be mischievous influencers, tempting our partners with the allure of single life—much like trying on someone else's favorite outfit. Beware these playful troublemakers targeting our loved ones. 3/ They often notice our shortcomings that our enamored (and perhaps overly trusting) partner overlooks. As my grandmother, a fan of La Fontaine, used to say: “Mistrust is the mother of safety.”
The view from an experienced event planner: Aurélien Boudier, co-founder of Crazy-voyages*
Organizing bachelorette parties across Europe, we've seen this firsthand: jealous fiancés posing as friends to probe party details, requesting guides' contacts for vetting, or even suggesting swaps like replacing a male stripper with a female one because “she likes women too.” We never comply—only the bride's friends' opinions matter, and future husbands know it. That's exactly what unnerves them.
*A site specializing in bachelor parties
The expert psychological take: Frédéric Fanget, psychiatrist**
"Men fear their partner's girlfriends will challenge them"
Men often present a different side in private intimacy, revealing flaws they'd rather keep hidden. The biggest worry? Their partner sharing these vulnerabilities. Girlfriends might say, “He's not right for you,” “You were happier with your ex,” or worse, “Let us introduce you to someone better.” Men discuss relationships less openly among friends than women do, who often seek validation for their choices. The key is separating private and public couple dynamics: private matters stay between partners, building trust. The public face is what both agree to share. Respecting this boundary minimizes fears of girlfriends' influence.
**Author of “Oser la vie à deux”, published by Odile Jacob.
