You teach your child to eat with a knife and fork. You teach your child to brush teeth and tie shoelaces. Peeing on the toilet. Sometimes quite a challenge, but most parents manage this fairly easily. But how do you teach a child to deal with emotions? It may seem like this comes naturally, or that you don't have to do much for it, but for some children learning to deal with their emotions is important. In fact; they can get completely social-emotional if they can't handle their emotions!
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Some kids blurt everything out. Also how they feel. However, there are also a lot of children who prefer to keep things to themselves. Especially when it comes to emotions. Then as a mother you sometimes have the idea that something is wrong, but you can sit down and fish. Or suddenly your child has an emotional outburst. How do you deal with that?
Teaching your child to deal with emotions is important. Very important even. A hot-tempered toddler, that's just fine, but when you get a bit older, suddenly becoming angry or very sad can cause strange situations. Moreover, it is not healthy to 'hoard' emotions. Is your son or daughter a real insider? Then you as a parent can go the extra mile and teach your child to deal with emotions.
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I can give you a few examples of children who have trouble dealing with their emotions.
The daughter of Joyce (7) has been having terrible stomach aches for a while last year. Now that in itself is not so strange with children, but if they normally do not really suffer from it and then suddenly for weeks at a time so bad that they do not want to go to school ... then you can wonder if something is wrong. is. In the end, that turned out to be the case… she was asked by the teacher at school to support another boy in the class. She wanted to too, but that boy was hitting and being very annoying. So she found it quite difficult and after a few weeks did not dare to tell the teacher that she did not like it that way… after all, she had been specially chosen to do this. And now it felt like she was failing…
It took days for Joyce to figure out exactly what was going on. While it was clear that something was wrong, Lotte did not want to talk about it. How do you approach that?
Teaching a child to deal with emotions may seem more difficult than teaching him or her to say thank you properly. However, there are all kinds of tips that can give you as a parent something to hold on to. We have listed a few of them for you. Do you have any tips for parents who are teaching their child to deal with emotions? Then we, and all those other moms and dads, would like to hear it! Even though every child is different, you can only learn from experiences (also from others). In addition, it can give you ideas that you would not have thought of yourself!
With older children it may no longer be necessary, but with younger children it can already help to name emotions. How does your child feel, and why? Is your son or daughter actually angry, afraid, or jealous? Explain to your child what all emotions mean and how they can recognize them.
In the above case, indicate that you see that your child is angry or sad. Do not tell your child that he or she does not have to be angry or sad… that way you do not acknowledge your child's feeling and your child may think that he or she is not 'should' have this feeling.
The next tip:being angry is okay. Teaching your child to deal with emotions starts with naming the emotions. But then comes acceptance. Everyone is angry or sad sometimes, mom and dad too! The point is how you deal with those feelings. And it is precisely how the anger manifests itself that often causes problems. Of course your son or daughter can get angry about something. But then yelling or hitting, that is not the intention.
If it does break out, try to let your child cool down first. This is often best done in a quiet place without distractions. But what also works well:run around for a while! If your son or daughter has calmed down a bit, start the conversation. Ask questions and reflect on what happened with your child. By asking further questions you get a better picture of the situation and the emotions of your child. Moreover, there is a good chance that your child will also realize that all that fuss was rather exaggerated. If you do this after every 'confrontation', your child will also understand and control his or her emotions better.
Read also: This is how you communicate with children
Don't just name your child's behavior. Also explain how mom and dad feel. That you become sad when your child is angry, for example. Of course without making your child feel guilty. Or, if your son or daughter seems sad, that you are concerned. This is how you create a relationship of trust. Your child knows that you know something is going on, and can choose to what extent he or she wants to express himself. Do you feel that your child could use a helping hand? Then read the last tip carefully!
By the way, don't just name your own emotions when it's too late. If you are not feeling well yourself, indicate this to your child in advance. Then he or she knows that mom or dad is not really angry, just a little grumpy. Or sad. This way you can also deal with any situations in advance and set a good example, right?
There are two different types of problems. The first is the kind you can solve. Then there is little point in getting angry or frustrated:that does not exactly ensure that you can think clearly.
But with the second type of problem, getting angry is completely pointless. Those are the things you don't agree with, but you can't change anything either. Teach your child that emotions are always right, but sometimes they simply don't make sense. And if there's no point in being angry, it's better not to start at all, right?
Recently we received a press release about a wonderful way to support your child. Does your child have an emotional charge but does not want to talk about it? Then this is a fantastic way to find out what's going on. Or at least to get the conversation going.
Dream doors, an imaginative product to teach your child to deal with emotions. They have this product in their range at the Honest Toys webshop. The dream doors look really cute, but they also serve an important purpose. Teach your child how to deal with emotions! And that in a playful, casual way. Incidentally, it is not suitable for children who are going through puberty, for example, but you can get that from the name itself I think 😉 .
The Dream Doors are small wooden doors (available in green, pink and blue) that you install against a plinth in your child's room. This creates a mysterious and super cute image:it looks like a kind of gnome house.
A letterbox is also supplied as standard with the Dream Doors. Do you also want to have dream mail? You can order 'well done notes' and 'big hug' notes with motivational texts separately. But you can also start your own correspondence with son or daughter. About the emotions that your child finds difficult to discuss, for example! How nice is it that you can support your child in his challenges in this way?
Tip:If you would like to read a few things about teaching your child to deal with emotions, you can take a look at the following books:
