There is, of course, no hard and fast rule for this. Everyone 'may' decide for themselves whether you let a child sleep in your bed or not if your child does not want to sleep in his own bed. One decides at an early stage that it is okay and the other not. Babies are the biggest cryers, unfortunately also at night, so you are often confronted with them when they are very young. So, imagine:your child does not want to sleep in its own bed. What do you do when they cry (and it's not because they need another feeding)?
Do you leave them in their own bed? Or do you take them to your bed? And what do you do when they get bigger? Will it be a different story then? Do you always act the same way or are you not so consistent in your approach when it comes to letting a child sleep in your bed?
Table of contents
I find it difficult, because at night you are tired (or still half asleep). As a result, you do not have so much energy, you cannot think with your full mind and crying comes in very loudly. Well, and then it is very attractive to take your crying child in bed with you, so that the noise stops and you don't have to think. But, sleeping, that goes less well with a child next to you, who claims all the space and almost pushes you out of (your own!) bed. In addition, once you start, they will increasingly (or always!) want to sleep in your bed. So, you would rather make sure that your child goes back to sleep in its own bed. But, that takes so much energy…
With a baby it was very clear to us. We didn't put them in our bed (and not even in our room). First of all, we wanted to achieve that the baby gets used to its own room/bed as quickly as possible and sleeps through. But more importantly, we think that's way too risky, because what if you fall asleep yourself and pull the blanket over your baby, causing the baby to choke!? And yes, nowadays there is such a thing as a cosleeper I know 😉 , but we chose a different route.
Read also: Do you let your baby sleep in your bed like this, or only with a cosleeper?
Our children soon slept through and are (thankfully) good night sleepers. They don't wake up that quickly. If they do, it is usually when they are not feeling well, or have growing pains, and sometimes when they cannot go back to sleep. The rule with us is:If they really don't feel well, they can come to us and in our bed (hopefully to sleep). Usually we are still awake when they have fallen asleep and we can easily put them back in their own bed. But if nothing is wrong, they have to stay in their own bed or if they did get out, go back to their own bed.
Because well, once you start doing that, they keep coming to you. And then we say:'No, rather not!'. So here lies the big challenge for us. Our child does not want to sleep in his own bed, but there is nothing wrong. How are we going to get them back in our own bed or try to keep them there?
And I'm not always consistent about that, because it's so hard to act properly in a sleep-drunk state. I still often choose to take them with me anyway. Thinking of all the misery it's brought me on other nights. But, eventually you will be confronted with this. Because yes, the next night she will easily come back to your bed. Sometimes they even crawl in without being asked 😉 .
Read also: Is a sleeping baby unrecognizable to you? Read this!
And then it's time again to gather all the energy and take on the nightly battle. Until they obediently stay in their bed again and I can finally sleep again… or (which is much more often the case) stay up all night because I can't get back to sleep !
Image used via Shutterstock
