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Gentlemen, that you must not tell us after love and here is why

“So, happy?”

We thought it was no longer done, but it's like fur on car steering wheels, there are irreducible people. Know gentlemen that even if we get carried away when we see you and even if you took us to the stars, if you say this sentence, your sexy potential will be close to that of Patrick Sébastien (oh yes). And you won't complain that we decamped faster than lightning. Because the questioning of porn films from the 70s thank you, but concretely we don't dream of it. Besides, are you insinuating that we should be happy? What should we be held accountable for? Of course we don't want to hang ourselves after a hair-raising game of legs, finally from there to thank you as if you had eradicated famine in Africa, maybe not either. If you really want to know if we liked (altruism when you hold us), no need to make us understand that we owe you a big candle, until proven otherwise we make love to two, each brings his stone to the building is fifty-fifty. On the other hand, nothing prevents you from simply asking “Did you like it?”. Well, we won't necessarily want to answer because the post-coital dialogue is sometimes a bit boring, but it's more acceptable.

“I knew you were a good shot”

Thank you for telling us about your plans on the comet and for making us understand that you had a good time, we are the first to be happy. But the term “bon coup” should be banned from the term post-coital. Why? Simply because we would like not to have the impression of having passed a test of the BAC. And then the performance side to keep us we do not want it. Nothing worse, it blocks tons of women in bed and result, the pleasure goes by the wayside. Yet this is the primary purpose of the maneuver...

"Do you ever epilate or just didn't have time?"

Are you being asked if the carpet you have on your back and on your chest is because you have shares in Saint Maclou? Thank you for your lynx eye but it's still a bit vexing (hihi, hair, hair removal...). It affects the physical and intimacy, so assured defeat. It's as if we had a small problem to formulate and we said to you:"she always leans to the right or is it just after love?". It hurts and it disturbs. So smart guys who meet a nostalgic woman from the Woodstock years, instead of being disparaging, try saying you don't like it. And without going into the controversy of the diktat of the hair / let me have hair where I want etc, know that in hair removal everything is a question of timing. And since we don't calculate everything (and fortunately) sometimes it's the hedgehog phase, the in-between what. To remove them, you have to let them grow back...

“Do you do this often?”

Implied:"Do you often sleep with a guy you've known for a few hours?". Indeed if I had known I might have curbed my molten hormones (and I return the compliment to you first!). The problem here is that unless you are an anthropologist and you are interested in the past hour for your next book, in the end the question quickly makes us understand that our virtue is in a pocket handkerchief. But 1/ we still do what we want and 2/ the so-called little virtue didn't really stand in the way an hour ago.

"What's that face you made when you came?"

Gentlemen, just take advantage of these minutes when time stands still rather than watching us from every angle when the horses are released. What if we did the same? "Oh man, what's that big vein that's about to burst on your forehead? (in full effort). It sucks and we don't care, we agree. And then already that we tend to want to be perfect in all circumstances, including the horizontal one unfortunately, no need to add a layer. Letting go is good, but it also means that you can't control everything, including the possible grimace at the end.

"How did you not come?"

Hop hop hop! Take it easy Usain Bolt on the run to orgasm. Said orgasm is not an end in itself. Even if there is no icing on the cake, it will not have prevented us from enjoying the rest of the pastry. It's all to your credit for wanting to give of yourself to make us reach the top of the Himalayas, but the problem with this question is that we tend to believe that it's not normal not to come except that is FALSE! Nothing more normal. It's not easy easy to have an orgasm (it's like antibiotics, it's not automatic) so if in addition you turn into a challenger and you cry foul if there has been no final bouquet, it will not be possible. In addition we must explain to you why we did not enjoy etc etc, it's tiring and we don't want to.

“I'm not kicking you out but I'll get up early tomorrow”

And you don't sleep well when you sleep together, yes, thank you, we know the song. Gentlemen, we know that sometimes you tell us that because you are clumsy and it is a delicate moment. But we were not born yesterday. And maybe we even thought about going home before you did, hehe! Gentlemen, instead of playing it mytho to be quiet at bedtime, wouldn't it be easier to say things before? It might allow us not to feel at the moment like an old sock after a sports session, which we put in the dirty after having used it. Yuck.

"You'll make me think of buying salt, we don't have any"

The fatal blow, the one that finishes the last warrior still standing. So yes, when you have been living with the person for quite some time, a romantic thing can turn a little sour, delicacy sometimes gives way to spontaneity, barriers are broken down and you are a little more into pistachio cash. But the post-coital shopping list, nothing better than being told that the next time you will put it behind your ear. We've known sexier than hearing you think about filling the fridge when WE are feeling well-being. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TURN YOUR BRAIN INTO A POST-IT.

What if in fact, we said nothing after the love but only that we took advantage?

PS:all these sentences have been spoken, si si…

PS2:no scandal, this also applies to women