I've known Bianca for years as a former colleague. We've both pursued our passions—she in her pediatrics coaching practice, and me in blogging. Recently, over coffee, we discussed our children and the broader challenges kids face in school. How the system expects everyone to fit one mold, overlooks untested talents, and leaves many feeling excluded, grieving what doesn't align. This affects not just parents, but young children too.
I admire Bianca's work guiding children toward their futures. She's not only an exceptional professional but a remarkable mother. I'm thrilled she's sharing her expertise here.
Table of contents
I'm in a cozy tiny house with my three sons during the May holidays—a chance to bond away from the PlayStation and dive into books. We're creating lasting memories.
Suddenly, rain and hail pour down. My eldest stands in the doorway, his teenage frame silhouetted. "Mom, it always smells so good." I smile, recognizing the scent. "It's like the world is taking a shower," he says wisely, inhaling deeply.
I pause, holding back a mother's quiet grief... This kind of wisdom isn't tested in school.
Read also: raising relaxed
My oldest is nearly 15—highly sensitive, wise, humorous, and deeply social. Yet school has been a struggle. After a strong primary school and CITO placement to HAVO, two years of survival led to VMBO-T, where he remains. He's not alone; this pattern has repeated for decades.
Who doesn't know those boys who struggled in school but thrived later in unique careers?
At this age, rigid expectations clash with their needs. Primary school felt like a crowded waiting room with 34 kids. But I know he'll blossom in his own time. I trust that fully, as I do for the many children in my coaching practice. They possess untested talents—and real potential.
These wise, sensitive, temperamental kids have tender hearts and strong wills. Our conversations often rival those with adults, revealing profound life insights, thoughtful questions, compassionate plans, creative designs, and keen social awareness. Talents schools overlook.
Read also: primary school report; how do you want to see your child score?
"Should" triggers resistance. Pacing isn't personalized—too slow or fast doesn't fit. Pressure mounts to excel in core subjects like language and math. But adults choose our talents and rhythms.
Qualities like empathy, willpower, caring, creativity, courage, self-awareness, communication, and leadership go unmeasured. Kids are funneled through a mismatched system for years.
Some start Ritalin at 7 for being "too present," yet shine in steering boats, observing nature creatively, or sharing hilarious videos.
These children boast qualities for great impact: authenticity, purpose, humor, creativity, energy, and vitality. Amid endless "musts" and expectations, they persevere.
You'll succeed on your path, son. I trust your character above all grades or diplomas.
Image used via Shutterstock
