"Don't trust anyone, or you'll be disappointed." To counter this inner voice, philosophy professor Emmanuel Delessert offers a compelling case for trusting others more thoughtfully—not blindly, but with openness. As Sancho Panza might advise Don Quixote's squire, embracing trust can lead to extraordinary stories and lifelong friendships, without descending into naivety.
Sure, opening your heart or starting the day optimistically can lead to disappointment. Media headlines—wars, kidnappings, scandals—fuel our fears. Yet, as Jacques de Coulon notes in The Meditations of Happiness, we fixate on negatives over positives. Proof? Draw a black dot on a white page—what do you notice? The dot, not the vast white space. Life mirrors this bias.
Consider Delessert's supermarket example: A panicked mother loses sight of her child for two minutes. Staff alert customers via loudspeaker, and the boy soon reappears. She fixates on the hypothetical kidnapping risk, overlooking the real wave of solidarity from strangers. This restores faith in humanity.
Exercise: Ask strangers for directions on the street. Most will help willingly—it's a simple reminder of everyday benevolence. The same holds at networking events: People are generally kind, even without instant chemistry.
Trust involves vulnerability and the risk of betrayal. But as Delessert emphasizes, without it, genuine relationships are impossible. "True encounter means allowing another's unique worldview to challenge your own, crossing borders," he writes. "We evolve not in isolation, but through the warmth of others."
Would you choose a safe but bland life, or one full of adventure with occasional setbacks? The latter builds resilience—like turning cactus pricks into motivation to savor life more fully.
Exercise: If control-freak tendencies overwhelm you, delegate a task to family or colleagues. You'll lighten your load, see their willingness to help, confirm things turn out fine, and boost mutual confidence.
Delessert is clear: Human freedom means surprises, including betrayal. Yet, it doesn't negate trust. Instead, it refines our understanding: "Betrayals reveal our true selves and remind us never to take others' love for granted."
This perspective adds spice to relationships—deepening bonds with friends or partners through honest, discerning openness.
Exercise: Practice smart kindness: Assess yourself honestly, stop over-justifying, and consider others' perspectives. (See linked guides for details.)
Emmanuel Delessert, Dare to Trust, Marabout, 2015
Price: €15.90
